1000 Things To Do Before I'm Saved

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. These thoughts aren't exactly relevant to anything I've been writing about lately, but they are giving me a new view on life. I clearly remember the plane ride home from the class trip to New York/ Washington D.C. and they happened to be playing the movie The Bucket List. These two old guys fighting about everything and wanting to do all these crazy things before they die. In the end they do it too. Really good movie if you're in a "stay home in my jammies" kind of mood one Saturday night. Anyways, in my first period ROP class I keep hearing about this trip to Costa Rica. They're our rival high school so the other ROP students and I decided to put together a trip to Spain for our school. I looked up some places to see in Spain and found a lot of cool places like Toledo. I started thinking about this trip and how I'm so excited for it. Then it clicked. What if something happens and I don't get to do all of the things I want to do before I die? I don't want to die and I'm not planning my death, funeral, will, or anything else yet. I just think it might be a good idea to have a bucket list. Like a 1000 things to do before Saved knows what it's like to be "saved" kind of thing. We're still young. We can still "do it all" and have time left over for things life throws at us. I'm starting my list right now. Here's the first ten things to do (please note that these are for high school students, not seriously focused adults): 1.) Crash an opposing high school's dance 2.) Sneak "toys" into graduation 3.) Throw a graduation party for your 10 closest friens (they each get to bring 2, they each get to bring 2, etc., etc.) 4.) Be accepted into the college of your dreams 5.) Study abroad, even if it's only for a semester 6.) Learn a valuable lessson from a stranger 7.) Have a weekend long movie marathon with your best friends 8.) Watch the sun set and rise on a school night/morning 9.) Have fun doing something you love in public (and don't care what others think) 10.) Hit on as many people as possible in one day (see how many dates you get) Have fun with these ten. I'll post another ten asap. Comment me your ideas for the list. <3 Saved Individual

La clase de Espanol 4/ linguaje nativo Ap

Si me gusta mi clase de espanol cuatro linguaje nativo ap. Yo soy un estudiante muy lista. I estoy... mal. No sabe escribir en espanol sin un diccionario. Mi maestro de la clase de espanol dice escribir un poco en espanol todos los noches. Quiero ir a Espana esta vierno. Necesito un trabajo pagar. No tengo dinero. Me gusta mis amigos. Ellos son muy simpatico. Ellos no saben espanol. :/ Necesito un tutor para la clase de espanol. No me gusta escribir sin un diccionario porque no sabe las palabras usar. Well, that's all I have for my spanish teacher. Basically, the above stuff says that I like my spanish class. It's Spanish 4/ native language AP. I'm very smart, I feel bad, I don't like to write in spanish without a dictionary because I don't know the right words to use. I want to go to Spain this summer. I like my friends, I need money for the trip. It also says that my friends are nice, but they don't speak spanish and I need a tutor. It's kind of random stuff. I'm not doing so well in spanish right now (it is ap and I know very little Spanish, which I proved above). I go to tutoring once a week right now, but it might be easier if I got a different tutor or went more often with somebody that was more accessable. Anyway, my spanish teacher wants me to do this once a week tutoring and write a little bit in spanish every night. It's supposed to increase my vocabulary and improve my sentance structres in Spanish. I don't see it, but maybe he's right. I feel pretty accomplished because I have a passing grade. He only speaks to the class in Spanish and I'm the only non-native speaker in that class. My goal is to get a "B" and pass the stupid Ap test at the end of the year. That shouldn't be too hard, right? It just means I need to work a little harder than the other students. Well, that's all I have for my readers tonight. I'll post more soon. Good night. <3 Saved Individual

Peace and Quiet

It's been a while and I apologize. I've been a little busy with things like school, job searching, football games, etc. It's been a lot of work, but totally worth it. When you live a life like mine things get crazy sometimes. It gives you a second of excitement and pressure. It's not fun for that one second, but then you look back and it was actually fun having that one second of feeling like screaming. Anyway, I've been doing a lot lately and it's really exciting. I've made a few new friends this year already and I can't wait to see what other friends I'm going to make this year and next year. I went to the first home football game of the year. It was RVHS vs. Sutter so there was a lot of rivalry. I actually went with a few RV friends and one from Sutter. It was fun to make jokes with them and sit on the RV side. :) We went to the before school rally that day and went crazy making jokes about everything. I registered for the ccd class a few weeks ago and I went to the first official class this morning. It was not the way I remembered it... Oh well. It was still great and I love going. I ran into a mom that I met through VBS and she was excited to see me. I gave her my number and she was really happy that I volunteered to babysit for her. :) The past few months I've been doing a lot of job searching and things are finally starting to turn around for me there. For once, it's actually quiet in my house. It's kind of awkward lol. I'm not used to it being so quiet. I really like that it's silent sometimes, but right now I'm too excited about life and youth group later tonight. I need the music blaring and the windows closed so I can just rock out by myself. It's so... freeing. Forms of self expression are the best way to relieve stress. I was looking at earlier posts in my blog and see how I used to write. I miss that, but  as I grow and change, my writing must also change. I have a lot of reflecting and homework to do. I'll post again soon. <3 Saved Individual

Rules of the Road

As most of us here know, I got my license a little under a month ago. Go ahead and make your jokes about the roads being unsafe now, but I'm actually a really good driver (for just getting my license anyways). Normally, I don't care how you drive as long as you can get me from point a to point be then back home safely. However, lately I've discovered that a lot of drivers aren't as good as you might think they are. Really it's people in general doing the right thing, but it's more about following the rules of the road for me today. For example, today I drove over to my ROP class for first period. The light was green, but the crosswalk sign changed at the same time so I couldn't go because pedestrians have the right of way. I figured I would just wait until the time ran out or I would turn right on a red because that's legal if traffic is clear. Well the light was still green and the time had run out, but three students decided to use the cross walk anyways. If you didn't catch that, these high school students are crossing illegally and I totally had the right of way (unfortunately, you can't enter a cross walk when there are pedestrians in it). Anyways, on my way back to school there was this truck heading to the same parking lot I was. I was doing exactly the speed limit and somehow, the guy managed to pass me. I don't mind that he passed me. He should have been doing the speed limit though (not ten over). On my way home from school there was a lot of traffic near the exit I use. Nothing new, but still frustrating at times. Some lady (probably a freshman's mom) was trying to switch lanes (she didn't signal or have room to fit into the spot. The kind lady blamed me and let me see her bird if you know what I mean. I decided to take the high road by changing lanes (I was going to anyways), smiling at her, and waving. I think I'm done complaining for the night. I'll post again when I find out if I get to go to Shady Creek. Good night. Comment if you have any other driving dos and don'ts. <3 Saved Individual

Junior Year

So Junior year has officially started and I'm way excited. A lot is going to happen this year and I can't wait for it to happen.  Well I left on time like I was supposed to and things went well. However, I totally got lost on my way to first (my year long, off campus class). I learned that the "Spanish 4" class I signed up for, is actually Spanish 4 AP. Nothing else is open, so I'm stuck in the class that only speaks Spanish (where I understand nothing). I got lost on my way to my real school. I ended up getting into English late though. :/ It was a fun class, but it's going to be a lot of work. Turns out that the 500+ page book that we were "required" to read over summer wasn't actually required. Tomorrow we're writing an essay on the book, but if we didn't read it we can write about any other book we read over summer. It's not getting graded, just a free ten points for writing the essay. If I don't switch out of Spanish, this means I have to take 2 AP tests this year. :( Lame! Third period I have computer applications. It shouldn't be a bad class, but definitely not my favorite. The teacher told us that we're going to do a big project towards the end of the semester that I'm really looking forward to. We're not allowed to use the computers after we finish the assignments though. It's weird, but I can easily get away with checking e-mails, doing other homework, or doing research for my project. Fourth period I have the world's best Chemistry teacher. He's a little crazy, but it'll be a fun class. He started a fire in class today. It was really scary. He did say that we'll never need our books though, so that's a load out of my backpack. I went to a job thing at McDonalds, but that didn't go so well. Oh well, maybe next time. Better go do some work for Spanish. Wish me luck there. ttyl <3 Saved Individual

Let's give them something to talk about ;)

Freshman year I had an AMAZING teacher. He later became one of my track coaches and every time we were about to start a meet he would always tell us, "Go big, or go home." The way I see it, everything you do in life should be that way. So why shouldn't we give the people what they want? Insecure people will talk about you behind your back and they're not going to stop no matter what you do. Why not give them something to say? How people take it is their problem and who cares what they have to say? Obviously they're not your real friends. I know that I haven't posted in days, but I've been kind of busy. Family time, shopping, and other things. Since my last post I got my license, applied to a billion places for work, got new sunglasses, had my car sold, and hopefully figured out who I am as a person. People will ask you who you are and anybody could say their name, their age, where they're from, etc. Who can say who they are though? Not many of us. A name and a social security number doesn't define who you are, what you like to do, and what you're interested in. Anyways, I just got my hair done and it looks great. Tomorrow is my "falcon day" where I get my schedule (just room numbers this year since I made my schedule myself like a week ago), year book, pictures, parking permit, etc. I've heard a lot of my senior friends talking this year and I'm starting to realize how crazy next year is going to be. Starting my second year of CCD soon and I can't wait for that. Baptism this year along with confirmation and first holy communion. Few of you may know this, but I have a cartilage piercing in my right ear. I got it for my birthday six months ago. I've grown up a lot since then though and I'm starting to think that I might want to take it out. It would be cool to put it in my memory box to remind my self of the year I had or to make it some big deal and take it out with my Godmother right before my baptism. I would love that. Anyways, back to the school thing. I have the best schedule ever this year. I have to travel for first period, but that's ok. It's so worth it. I have Spanish 4 at YCHS, then I go back to RVHS for AP English 3 with Odegard, Computer Applications, and Chemistry with Mr. Lee. I don't really care about the teachers unless I requested them or know them. Second semester, I have Spanish 4 at YCHS, Student Aide with Mr. Hislop (no, that is not where I get help. Yes, that is where I help the teacher), US History, and Nutritional Science. This paper is saying that I'm supposed to have a PE class this year too, but that's not true. I may have to go in the first day of school and tell them to fix that. I'm really excited. Not only do I have the best schedule EVER, but I'm also a junior this year. Anybody have any idea what that means? No? PROM!!!!! I can't wait. I already have the dress and shoes. I think I have a date, but I want to see if somebody else asks me before I say yes. ;) Next year I get reduced days if I want. I could have gotten them this year, but I didn't want to sit at home by myself for 90 minutes. Then if I do sports I would have to drive all the way back to school. How lame would that be? Probably won't do sports though. :/ I need a job to pay for stuff like a car and college. After senior year I want to go abroad. Just a quick little vacation, but maybe I'll stay for school. I decided that I want to go into graphic design. Like the stuff on the Monster cans or the posters outside of the movie theater. I want to get paid to do stuff like that or go into advertising. That would be a sick job. Actually, I think I'm going to go work on that right now. Maybe find a good school to go to a few people that are in that field to see what the job is really like. You know, find all the basic information so I know exactly what I'm getting into. I'll try to update again before school starts and after the VBS staff party. TTYL!! <3 Saved Individual

VBS

The past five days of my life have been spent volunteering at "Beach Be Attitude" for the St. Isidore's Catholic Church Vacation Bible School. Children ages 3-12 come 10 am to 1 pm and hear stories from the bible, sing songs, make crafts, have a snack, and play games. Every year is tons of fun and we learn a lot. However, this year we had kind of an off week. The Thursday before the actual Vacation Bible School, we all had a meeting to make sure that everything was in place for the week and that weekend was used to make decorations. Everything was perfect as far as we could tell. We had a lot of children signed up to come, the shirts were on their way, and everybody was ready to be there at 8 am on Monday. Well during the meeting my little sister (who was looking forward to helping out for her first time this year) found out that she was supposed to be registered as a student this year. She was disappointed, but she got over it and had a lot of fun listening to both views of the day (leader and student). Monday came and the shirts weren't ready yet. The staff was a little upset, but we quickly got over it with the children running around the gym. The groups weren't ready for the leaders (jobs of the advisers) so everybody in the same age group traveled together and the leaders had to watch all 28 preschool kids. It wasn't so bad, but two of the kids were crying and one refused to participate all week. Worst day of the week (we ended up having one of the meetings we only have when somebody breaks a rule). Tuesday came and I was assigned to the fifth grade group (with my sister and the group refused to say more than three words at a time). Not my first choice since a parent requested me for their child (that I know and love) in the preschool (which I signed up for). There was a crazy girl spreading rumors about everything and to everybody (drama queen freshman) but she was eventually caught in her lies. Wednesday came and we finally got our shirts. Things were fine that day, but it was still more like an actual job than the fun it had been in the previous years. Thursday somebody lost a child and a friend of mine got blamed for it. The child was not in his rotation and, technically, not his responsibility. He refuses to return to help us out next year, with understandable reasoning in my opinion. I promised him things would be better next year and explained how previous years had been better. Friday came and things were fine for the most part. Some of the group leaders were a little irresponsible and some of the students were snots to me, but that is expected. While cleaning up there was a small mishap with the bleachers. The bleachers had broken earlier in the week and were again acting up while being put away. I was sent to fix the bleachers (by going underneath and lifting the switch) when some people began to push them back into the wall (most horrific experience of my life). We finished cleaning up and put everything in the car to take back to the "storage facility" that we keep the stuff in (the supervisor's garage). This week was not our best year and we hope to do better next year. Personally, I would like to move up in rank ( preferably to advisor, but not likely) so I can voice my opinions and ideas (I can now, but with the rank comes responsibility and a sort of weight in your opinion). Everybody seems to have had a lot of fun and is looking forward to the staff party. It has been an experience that I will never forget and one that I have learned a lot from. It may sound like a list of complaints, but those are the highlights of my week. If you have any comments or questions let me know. I would be happy to respond to every single one. <3 Saved Individual

Story of my life (in fairytale town maybe lol)

 Once upon a time in a crazy small town, there was a princess. She was pretty, popular, nice, smart, etc. She was everything you could ever want in a princess. She was a middle child with two younger brothers, an older sister, a puppy, and an older brother. All of the children were the same way, but with different interests. Well, most of them were anyways. It's like the story of the Ugly Duckling, but with people. The older sister was also a princess, but that's about where the similarities stopped. She was average. Yes, she was smart and nice just like the rest of them, but she was just normal. She went to school, she helped out around the castle, and hung out with the few friends she had when she had time. As you can imagine, the king and queen were very busy people. They were always busy taking care of royal business or caring for their children. The average sister didn't usually get all that much attention, so she started doing her own thing in life. She spent time caring for friends in need, looking for a carriage to drive, and getting ready for the day she would be asked to be queen for her mother. She already knew that she would say no, but she needed to find a way to give them the reason why. Her dream was to finish school, get involved in a new church, and live in the big city. She was going to get away from her life as a princess and make a new name for herself. People wouldn't have to know about her perfect family. She would be a strong independent woman that knows how to take care of herself. She would leave the friends and court jester that meant nothing to her behind, but she would keep the important people like her good friends and family members informed of how her new life was. They would all be so proud and excited that somebody had done something so great. They would speak to her in amazement. Everybody would be in shock that somebody that was so ordinary could take their lame life of living in the shadows of a small town and turn it into a fairytale ending. She would go to work everyday, travel the world when she didn't want to stay in her new home, and finally meet Prince Charming just like she always wanted to. The end. As you can see, this obviously isn't a true story, but it's my life. The only part of this that is slightly true is that it takes place in a small town and the princess (me) isn't perfect like the rest of her family. I feel like I've just been slapped in the face by my friends. I've been trying to care for a friend that's going through a hard break-up, but apparently I'm not good enough for him. He had to go talk to my ex-best friend and hear the exact same thing from her. Like I said, the princess was ordinary and wasn't as popular as her siblings. It all worked out in the end though, right? If all goes according to plan these next few years, I'll have that ending. :) Wish me luck. <3 Saved Individual

Oscar Wilde

"How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?" That is a quote by Oscar Wilde, a British author that lived from 1856 to 1900. Yes, this quote may seem a little out dated because of how long ago it was said. However, it still rings true today. As teenagers (the age group I try to target with my writing), we experience a lot of heart breaks, pain, tears, and even "love", if you can call it that at our age. The way I see it, you're only young once so you may as well enjoy it. I am taking a ccd class to become a Catholic this spring. I want to be close to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Lately, I've been learning a lot from my mistakes and trying my hardest to fix them. I've seen a close friend go through a rough break-up and it's killing me to see him suffer. :_( For a while, I lost all faith I gained while in ccd last year. It was the broken heart that brought me back and made me want to get back into my religion before things got any worse. Now, I feel like nobody is reading. Maybe it's because it's about 1 am, or maybe it's because I haven't had a comment in days. I have my friends though and maybe it's time to have them read my blog too. I guess I should go get ready for tomorrow. Maybe do some homework for school this fall. Before I go I want to post about a few little things that nobody will care about lol. It's totally random, but whatever. Saw the new Twilight movie today. Hung out with friends for hours after my driving lesson. I can't drive to save my life and the movie wasn't bad. Summer has been lame so far. Talk to me? Just let me know and we can be friends on facebook and stuff. Please comment so I know that I'm not just writing this for my benefit. <3 Saved Individual

It's a small world

As you can see (if you read regularly), I just updated my page. I've had a lot of time to think about things and decided that it was time for a change. I recently started listening to the radio a little more often and found 103.9 The Fish. It's Christian music and some of it really speaks to me. Music plays a big part in my life. Listening to the music makes me miss going to church and my ccd class every Sunday. I've been hearing a lot of things lately like various traditions that go along with the Pamplona Bull Run in Spain and why people are so upset with Fifa right now. It's actually a really funny story. Not something that I would have caught on my own either lol. People are mad at Fifa because in the world cup it was Nigeria against Germany. Some smart person decided to write Nig. vs. Ger. for who was playing (of course it had to be the game with Germany lol). I totally disapprove of what happened, but it was probably just an accident. Anyways, back to The Fish. I was talking to a friend about the station when they told me about a different one called K-Love. I started listening to them too. The other day they were talking about how people can connect on their website. Two people became friends on facebook after "meeting" on the site and were friends online for two years. They decided to meet for the fourth and shockingly, didn't get killed. On the one hand, it's a really stupid idea to make friends online. However, in cases like this it really makes you think about what happened to society over the years. I was reading a book for English and read about the things we did to the Native Americans. I was shocked and very upset. No, I did not cry. Yes, I did want to. Maybe we should all be a little more open? I'm going to start by trying to be "friends" with some of the bloggers I recently started following. All of these bloggers are really talented and their thoughts should be heard. It's a great way to learn about customs and society in other countries too. I'm learning a lot about Jamaica. ;) I'm going to start working harder at learning about other countries and their customs. For example, did you know it is socially acceptable to call people fat in some parts of Mexico? It's crazy and doesn't seem right to people in America (even though most of us are). I better go take care of the new puppy. :) She's so cute. She's a British Bull Dog and she's sooo chubby. She's getting big fast. Comment away if you know anything about other countries or know a way I can learn about them. Greatly appreciated. ;) ttyl <3 Saved Individual

So much for waiting a week

I know that I said I was only going to post once a week for the summer, but that's not working for me anymore. Not this week anyway. Life is a learning experience. Everyday, we learn something new. This week I learned more than my fair share of things. One example, adults were kids once. A lot of them don't like to admit it, but it's true. They were all our age once and made mistakes just as bad as ours. Most of the time it feels like it's hard to admit to a mistake, but if you just tell them what happened the punishment is a lot less than what it would be if you tried to hide it. I also learned that adults DO care and love you. Try talking to them when you're thinking about doing something stupid. They have reasons for saying no sometimes. I'm just looking forward to school starting again and working at a vacation bible school until then. I feel like an emotional wreck and I'm driving myself crazy with missing my friends. As a teenager, we want to be independent. In reality, we should be wanting to be closer to our parents. Looks like we need a bit more experience before we realize it. Like they say, "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". Maybe we should find a balance between the present and what could happen down the road. I know that after this summer I'm going to be planning things a lot better than I have this week. Ttyl <3 Saved Individual

Summer

Here, summer break has been going on for like a week now. I've decided that people have lives and would like to spend this time with family and friends, not reading some stupid blog that some person they don't know is writing. It just seems pointless to read what somebody else has to say when they could be out living their own lives. It is that very reason that I am cutting my blog entries to once a week during summer (which is actually more often than during the school year lol). Anyways, summer break is a wonderful time for anybody. Summer means no school, late nights, hanging with friends, new adventures, and just being lazy. Sometimes it means it's time to get a job, but that's only if you're old enough. I can't wait to spend this summer doing who knows what. It's going to be so fun. Hopefully I'll get a job and do a ton of homework. I've already spent the first week having late nights with friends. It's making me tired lol. I need to go to the mall more often. Apparently, they now have a hurricane machine there. $2.00 and you get like 5 minutes of 100 mph winds. It's crazy fun. The stores got some cute clothes too. SHOPPING TIME!!!!!! I should get some of my closer friends and go to the mall with them. Good quality time with the girls would be nice to have this summer. All of that sounds like a ton of fun, but I realized recently that summer is also a time of growing and learning. We as teenagers are bound to make more mistakes during summer. We LEARN from the mistakes and GROW as people. We turn into proper ladies and gentlemen found in everyday society. It's a wonderful experience as well as a challenging one. It isn't always fun, but it's a good thing in the long run. I wish everyday could be a summer day, personally. I learn more from real experiences that actually happened than I do from sitting in a classroom. I better finish up here. Another late night is about to start lol. I'll tell you guys more about that some other time. Ttyl! <3 Saved Individual

I know, I know. I feel really lame about last night

I know that I promised you guys an update days ago, but things got a little crazy. I haven't even really been on the computer since then. It's all been mobile or at school, where I can't update. Anyways, school is officially out, I'm officially a junior, and the class of 2010 has officially graduated. The last week of school was crazy. It was a lot of fun though. All we really did was turn in a bunch of late work, watch movies, sign yearbooks, and "study" for our finals. Seniors had graduation practice all week long. Graduation was nice. :) I ACTUALLY got to go too. I loved it. They all walked in, they said the pledge, national anthem, and the welcome in three languages. A lady had a falcon that did not want to fly for her then when it did, it did not want to come back (yes, we are the falcons). The principal gave his little speech and it was a quick one. There was a special speaker that made a crazy speech, but it was the most fun speech to listen to. Then they had the valedictorian give her speech and all she did was pat herself on the back. The class president and the asb president gave their speeches and they were typical graduation speeches. One girl that was graduating sang the song "Best Days" with another graduate playing his guitar. It was alright, but I'm not the best person to ask since she wasn't my favorite person. After the song they called up each graduate one at a time to get their diploma covers (they don't get the real diploma until Monday). Each graduate gave our bald principle a black comb as a graduation present. It was funny. They did the turning of the tassel and everybody was all excited. After that they played the graduation slide show and had the fireworks display. We said hello to people we knew at the graduation and friends that were graduates. We came home and went to bed. Yesterday we had a graduation party for my brother and it was so much fun. The invitation said 2-6 (at which point I would have written this), but as you can see the party was a little bit longer. We spent the morning looking for swim suits and cleaning the house. Normal set up stuff. :) The first guests arrived at about 1:30. We had fun, went swimming, normal graduation party activities. My brother, the graduate, left a little early from his own party so he could go to work. :/ That was lame. The party continued and people slowly began to leave. The last guests (who happened to be the first guests to arrive) left at about 11. My aunts who helped set up left at about 11: 30 and I was exhausted so I went to bed. I know that I'm lame for not writing sooner, but after a few days like that what do you expect? We had some fun conversations at the party. You had to be there to hear it though because now they're all inside jokes lol. Got any fun graduation stories? Let me know. :) ttyl <3 Saved Individual

Yes, I'm still alive.

I know that I'm not always on here, but the school blocked the website and I haven't had anything to write about lately. Just counting down to the end of the year. Last week of school, so I should be posting more as I come up with more things to write about. I don't have a job, so it's not like I won't have time. I'll probably be spending that time looking for one, working out, something. Maybe I'll even start studying for honors chem. It all depends on what I have going for me this summer. Currently I have nothing though. Hopefully I'll spend some time with friends. We got our yearbooks and they look AMAZING!!!! Way better than last years anyways. I'm looking for some books to read, so if you have any ideas they would be much appreciated. Same goes for movie titles. 2 1/2 months is a long time to be doing nothing. I found out that I have Child Development ROP all year next year ( I say all year because we're on the block schedule and switch classes half way through the school year ). Any advice on taking care of kids? On the bright side, at least I'll be certified in CPR and stuff like that. :) I'm usually good with kids, but I'm kind of worried about that. I also have history of religions. THAT scares me. That's a lot of religion for one year. I take a ccd class on Sundays and adding five days of religions is insane. Confirmation scares me too though. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm not ready for it. I want it, but that's a BIG step. Especially for somebody like me. I'm a very sheltered, very shy girl. I can barely tell people my name. They expect me to be baptized, receive first holy communion, and be confirmed all in the same night on my own free will?! That's craziness. I better go take a nap and work on some English homework. :) I'll write more later. The next post will probably be after I get out of school. I have a lot of studying to do for finals ( I'm in Spanish 3, keyboarding, dance, and Honors English ). I finished the final for dance and got an a in that class, but I'm a little worried about the spanish 3 final. I've had a C+ all semester, so I'm hoping that I can bring that up to a solid B. Adios, amigos lol. <3  Saved Individual

Sex and Drugs

"I'm gonna go where no girls ever been before. I know that you can take me. you, you make my body numb. I want it I need it so bad that I do anything that you want just tell me where to put it if you got it I can do it. Sex and drugs. yup. this is what she loves. yup. I seen her up in the club shakin her f***** stuff. louder then a bomb b****, why you smokin drugs? is it because you really want someone to show you love?" Yes, it is part of an AMAZING song. As you can guess, it's titled Sex and Drugs by Hyper Crush. I was listening to it in first period the other day and it made me think. Why are some people so desperate for said things? It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, people tell me that it's amazing (I wouldn't know). Is it really worth it though? What if it doesn't work out? What if it was a mistake that you end up regretting for the rest of your life? It's a big responsibility. Not always worth the risk. I do know about risk and regret. Why should guys get to act like animals? Double standard much? It's ridiculous. I should start posting some of my poems on here. It would be a risk and it would be worth it. Even if nobody likes them, I would get an honest opinion of how people see them and how strong I can be. In all honesty, it feels like I'm slowly dying inside. I took a risk, I now regret it, I miss being there though. I do regret it, but I wouldn't go back in time and change what happened. Like they say, "never regret something that once made you smile." Maybe one day we can talk again, but until then we just have to keep moving forward. I need some new books to read. If you have any ideas or a blog you want me to check out, let me know. <3 Saved Individual

FML?

You know that situation when you feel like you get the short end of the stick no matter what you do? SUCKS!!!!!! What are you supposed to do at that point? The answer: DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!! You simply keep trying and find a way to make as many people happy as possible. Just make sure that you're one of them. Become "Lost in Stereo" like the song lol. :) The lyrics are obviously online and can be found at the website listed at the end of this post. I was actually on a website this morning. It's almost like twitter, but you just complain about stupid stuff that happened to you. It's fmylife.com and you go read peoples posts then vote on if their lives suck or not. It gets pretty interesting sometimes. This world is filled with creepers and  weirdos. Most of the fmls are fake, but still very entertaining to read. Most people make jokes about the stupid ones. It's great. You should check it out. My mom's been thinking about getting a dog for months now and if we MUST get a dog, I want a Yorkie. They're so cute and cuddly. Not a big fan of dogs, but I'll make an exception. Track season is over for me and I have a job interview tomorrow at 5:30. I can't wait. I'm so excited and I think I really could have a chance at getting this job. My references were amazing, I had a ton of work experience to put down, and the older lady that was working there was very nice and probably put in a good word or two for me. :) If I do get the job, it'll probably only be for the summer because it's at the pool. :/ It'll still be worth it and it'll give me a better chance of being hired again next summer and other places that I choose to apply at. Today has been a good day so far and should continue to be. I got up early, started some homework (not that I have much to do there), did two loads of laundry, and still have time to do whatever. I'm being productive today. I should probably start being more organized though. I can't remember anything anymore. I think it's just because I've been busy. Once things are back to normal I'll probably be back to remembering important things that I need to do. I miss my friends. They're great. They know me better than I know myself and no matter what I say or do, they blame men. These boys may be crazy, but they think of me like a little sister and only want what's best for me. Sounds like a few other people I know *cough* Buttons *cough* lol. I should probably get back to my fairly productive day, so I'm going to wrap this up. Seems a little random today, but who cares? It's my blog and if you don't like what it says or how it's written, don't read it. Simple as that. I'll try to post again soon. I'll keep everybody on here updated on how summer plans, job searching, and vbs are going. Leave me some love and tell your friends about my blog. :) They might actually enjoy it. You never know.
<3 Saved Individual

 http://www.metrolyrics.com/lost-in-stereo-lyrics-all-time-low.html

Random? Nah ;)

You know that moment when you're just coming back from a daydream? Where you realize that you've been staring at the kid next to you for like ten minutes and they think you're a creeper? That one little moment when you know you'll regret not paying attention tomorrow, but you want to get back to what you were thinking about instead? Yeah, I've been there all day. Luckily it was a minimum day and I didn't miss much. Déjà vu is a noun that means "the illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time". It's quite an interesting topic, but not what I want to talk about today. I've been talking to this guy lately and he drives me crazy. It's PERFECT!! The daydream I had all day? It was about him. ;) I get to see him for the first time in a month tomorrow. :D The day dream was about how things are going to go when we see each other. I know how I want it to go and I think he would want it to be the same way. I can't wait. You know that feeling you get when you're in a great mood and your favorite song happens to come on the radio or your ipod (on shuffle)? That moment when you realize that you're excited about something and a song that totally describes your mood or situation starts playing? Yeah, I've been there before too. I love the thought that somebody out there is looking out for you. Maybe it's a guardian angle or just a loving parent. The beauty of it is, you don't know. You just have to have faith. I know that this whole post seems kind of random, but in my mind it all fits together. Life is a mystery. You can try to solve it before you get to the end, or you can just enjoy it. I choose to enjoy the story and just go along for the ride. I know that the mistakes I make won't matter in the future and no matter what happens or who I talk to, I'll always have friends and family that loves and cares about me. Things happen for a reason and we don't know what they are. We can wonder why and try to figure it out, or just accept it. Either way, it's your life and you can live it the way you want to. The way I see it, if something doesn't work out the way you want it to there's something better right around the corner. I'm about to update my about me, so if you want to know more about my ideas let me know and read that. :) I actually need some more topics to write about. Any ideas?

If you're Over Us, Lie Until the End of Time

I'm really sick of all this stupid high school stuff. I know that some adults think that we're just stupid kids that freak over EVERYTHING, but that's not always the case. This time it kind of is, but I'm sick of all the lies, drama, and heartache. Yesterday, I found out that a girl was talking bad about my best friend (Yes, I did hear her saying it. It's not just "he said she said" stuff). Obviously I stood up for him. Today when I told him that he might want to stay away from her because of what happened (just saying "I think it would be in your best interest if you stayed away from her" kind of thing, not the drama starting "oh she said... about you”) all I got from him was a lame, automatic response and then the silent treatment. For what, I'm not sure and in all honesty, I don't really care anymore. Whatever happened to "High School: The Best Four Years of Your Life"? High school's almost half over for me and I'm really doubting that this will be what I look back on saying, "Man, I wish I could go back to the time that my friends and I...” To tell the truth, it'll probably be something more like, "You know, I remember the time that my friends and I... Oh wait; I didn't do anything with them because they weren't really my friends.” I've gone to a few dances, I've watched a football game or two with "friends", and I've even considered doing some stupid stuff because it sounded like a good idea at the time. Now that it's clear who my real friends are and where the rumors about me are coming from, I know what I've done with my life and where I'm heading. They say that there is an end in friend, an over in lover, a lie in believe, an us in trust, and an if in life. I beLIEve that in lIFe an ex lOVER can not be trUSted to be a friEND. That's not true, but you see where I'm going with this. That's what high school is about. It's making mistakes, having fun, learning things the hard way, and creating memories and stories that you'll look back on with a smile because that's what made you who you are today. In my case, however, is it really worth it? I think that maybe I would be better off at a different school. I would even consider home schooling. Yes, it means missing prom, Wood leaf counseling, and graduation, as well as football games, friends, etc. Would that be better for me than staying here and being miserable because my "friends" are starting drama? It's hard to say, but I'm thinking it might be. I guess I'll just have to take life as it comes and hope for the best.

Career Options

So I've been thinking a lot lately. Mainly about how my life is turning out and where I'm heading. One thing that has come up the most is friendship. Has anybody ever noticed that the word "end" is in the word "friend"? NOT COOL!!!! Just realizing that a lot of my friendships are getting messed up lately. Oh well, back to my future. We did the career searching thing at school a while back and they gave me some crazy options like "sociologist" and "abuse/crisis counselor". They gave me a few good ones like "teacher" and "Marketing Specialist". I actually got "clergy" as one career that I would be well suited for. Obviously I went through the "When I grow up I want to be a..." phase many times. We've gone through princess, teacher, artist, president, photographer, entrepreneur, stay at home mom, director, writer, poet, musician, actress, singer, etc. Yeah, I've done a lot of thinking. Most recently I've been thinking about becoming a Marketing Specialist. It's kind of like the person that makes the advertisements for different companies. I really want to do that, but I'm not sure. With all of the drama that's been going on with high school I'm thinking about  going back to becoming a writer or poet. I have the experiences to write about. It'll be fun to look back in ten years and say "Remember the time that we...?" or "I remember the time that...". It'll be fun either way. If you hear about any other career choices that I would be qualified for let me know.

Spanish 3 report

La historia de la música y el baile español es muy larga e interesante. Algunos de los tipos más conocidos son la salsa, el tango y el flamenco. Algunos que no son tan conocidos son la bossa nova, tejano, Ye Ye y la jota. la música latina es única porque es una combinación de diferentes sonidos de diferentes países. estilos de música española reliquia de Polyrhythms fuertemente en África. Salsa aparece en muchas de Cuba y Puerto Rico comunidades. Salsa es de rhythems africanas y españolas latidos. Es popular en la mayoría de los clubes de hoy porque es el paso rápido y tiene un espacio mínimo que hacer. El tango es música bastante clásica. Por lo general se toca con violines, contrabajo y piano. De vez en cuando juega con flautas y clarinetes, el tango es ampliamente conocido por su estilo dramático. Algunos de los más populares artistas pop español habla de hoy son Shakira, Ricky Martin, y algunos otros. Hay áreas canciones como Livin 'La Vida que se realizan en español. Una de las artistas más famosas de la década de 1970 y el 1980 en la categoría de Pop español es Enrique y Ana. Cantaron canciones para niños y eran muy populares. Hicieron una película en 1981 titulada Aventuras de Enrique Lad y Ana. Algunos de sus mejores canciones conocidas hoy son La Canción de Los Planetas, Baila Con El Hula Hoop, Alibombo, y Super Disco Chino.

Mexico y Espana!!!!!

Actually, it's all Spanish speaking countries. In Spanish 3 we are doing presentations. We split up into six groups of four and one group of two (guess who got stuck in the group of two). My group (or should I say partner and I) decided to do our presentation on music and dances from various Spanish speaking countries. Luckily, I have dance fourth period and all year we've been learning things like Meringue, Salsa, Tango, Rumba, etc. and most of them have come from Spanish speaking countries. Mainly Spain and Cuba. Now I have to write a short little summary of the history of the music and dances in Spanish then work on putting a poster together. It's going to be crazy since we got the assignment Friday and it's due Wednesday. I probably should have worked something out with my partner on Friday, but oh well. We'll put something together. Any ideas on where I can get some supplies for the poster and information for the report? It would be greatly appreciated. Just let me know. It doesn't have to be a long presentation, just a decent length. I can't wait to show everybody what I can do. They'll be so jealous and mad that I didn't work with them. HAHAHA!!!! I'll win. :) Anyway, church was fun today. I love it when "The big enchilada" (as he likes to refer to himself) makes catholic jokes in church. It was funny. You had to have been there. Just an update for those of you that I don't talk to regularly, I made a friend from Natomas. We had a stormy patch there for a while, but we're better now. Looking forward to VBS and school work is going well. I still have a lot to do and a  lot of stuff to work on before summer, but I can't wait. My mom and I are going carb free for a month. It sounds hard, but it'll be good for us and I'm actually looking forward to that to. Just finished a week of testing and have two more tests to take this week. I guess this is what it's like to grow up. Just enjoy life as it comes and don't sweat the small stuff. Everything will work out in the end. :)

Fame and Fortune

Is it really worth it? Nobody is ever really "down to earth" after they get it. Some of the larger, more popular bands are just lying when they say that they love their fans and would be nowhere without them. It's ridiculous. Hyper Crush (small band that has gone nowhere yet) really is still down to earth. My brother met them a while back and got them to actually sign a poster for him. It's in his room right now. Hyper Crush is kind of the 80's techno music, but it's really cool. They just released a new single called "Keep Up" and it's amazing. They're really fun and for the guys, Holly is pretty cute. You might want to give them a try if you're in a good mood or looking for something to give you a little "pick me up". You'll love them. Other than that, there isn't much going on. I was going to write some controversial essay, but changed my mind when I started listening to Keep up and got an e-mail. The  e-mail made me a little sad, but oh well. It worked out this way for a reason. Next year (assuming that I do it this year and the year after)! I'll be ready for the job when the world is ready for me. :)

Update

So I've been crazy busy this month. I've been job searching, doing homework, finding information for my presentation, track practice, cheer practice, and putting the actual presentation together. The sad part is, I've been driving myself insane with all of this stuff and I still have more to do. This is supposed to be the easy part of life. Whatever happened to nap time and everybody being best friends? I miss those days. I never got nap time at school, but life was easier. Just wanted to keep everybody updated. G2g learn the material for cheer, spanish 3, and co-ed dance w/ Martinez. Talk about exhaustion. :p

Essay for English

In my English 2c (honors) class, we are working on writing persuasive essays. We had to get our topic pre approved by the teacher and are now to write the essay then put together a presentation for the class. We have to have the arguements for both sides and use the three different ways to persuade the class to agree with us. My friend is helping me come up with a title, but if you have any ideas I'll consider those too. Debating on if I should use the title "Abortion: pro-choice or pro-murder?" for the essay. I'm getting pictures off of the internet and putting them in a video to the song "How To Save A Life" by The Frey. Since the rough draft is due Monday, I think I'm going to work on it in here. Currently I have:


Abortion: pro-choice or pro-murder?


Abortion is a strong topic that is hard for most people to discuss without getting into an argument. There are lots of different ways to view such a sensitive subject and we should all be able to voice our opinions freely. Some people believe that women should have the right to get an abortion if it's what's best for them. They say that it's a womans right to have control of her body. They believe that in cases of rape or incest there is no ther option and abortion is a safe medical procedure. Who is it safe for though? The baby that is being aborted is being tortured. It is said that it feels like the baby is being burned alive by the chemicals. For the pro-life people, they believe that there are alternatives to abortion such as adoption. They say that our tax dollars should NOT be going towards medical procedures that most people in this country don't approve of. If it's illegal to kill another human being, why isn't abortion illegal? It's still murder, it's just an age difference.


Here are a few facts that you may want to think about. thirty-one percent of all teenage pregnancies end in abortion. Fifty-two percent of all abortions are performed on women under twenty-five. Obma is cutting $164 million from abstinance and safe sex programs. Maybe you should try seeing the situation from the babies point of view.


Two abortion survivors, Gianna Jessen and Ana Rosa Rodriguez, now speak out against abortion. Gianna Jessen's mother went in to have an abortion during the seventh month of her pregnancy. Early April seventh, she gave birth to a severly injured baby. She was put into foster family and diagnosed with a severe case of cerebral palsy. She has no hard feelings towards her mother and speaks to women who have had abortions and are considering having an abortion with compassion. She is pro-life, though. Gianna testified on abortion before the Constitution Subcommittee of the House Judiciary Committee, but only two of the thirteen members were willing to listen to her testimony. Ana Rosa rodriguez's mother was Rosa Rodriguez. She was twenty years old and getting an abortion from Abu Hayat. Half way through she changed her mind and told Abu Hayat that she wanted to keep the baby. He told her it was too late. The next day she gave birth to a healthy little girl named Ana Rosa Rodriguez. However, the attempted abortion did cost little Ana her right arm.


Is it really fair to end a life because that's what's easiest for you? Now ask yourself, would YOU ever want to KILL your baby because of a mistake that YOU made? Would you want your child to suffer from health problems such as that of Gianna and Ana because of an abortion gone "wrong"? Then when they ask why they're different from the other kids at school, how do you explain that you tried to kill them because you didn't want them? Abortion should be illegal. The tax dollars that are going to abortion research and paying for those who can't afford them, should be going towards the abstinance and safe sex programs that Obama is cutting the funding from. Why should a child pay for our mistakes? Don't let it happen. Join me on October 19, 2010 in the Pro-life Day of Silent Solidarity.


That's the end of my essay. If you have any suggestions or questions please feel free to comment. About to start working on my presentation. Thanks for reading. :)

My Easter experience

I always love hearing the story of Easter. Passover, the resurection, the passion, etc. It's a beautiful story. Well, this year we celebrated a little bit early. All day today we've been celebrating by finding eggs and such. I really wanted to go to the 8 o'clock bi-lingual mass tonight. My friend Drew was baptized and I had a lot of friends there. It looked like it was going to be a really special mass. We later found out that it was about 4 hours long and couldn't stay. :/ It made me really sad and now having a really lame time fighting with my mommy. On the bright side, I did find out that we have a beautiful family bible that will be given to me when I'm baptized, confirmed, etc. a year from now. Monday morning I get three teeth pulled and currently feeling sick from all of the sweets that I've been missing since lent started. This is going to be a really long week. :( At least I get to talk with my new e-mail buddies (All Time Low) all week. :) I SOOOOOOOOOO want to go to one of their concerts soon. I'm excited. Only two classes left for ccd. Then I start again next year. Finally realizing that I need new friends. Not just for me, but for the people that mean a lot to me too. You know that something is going on when even your parents say that you need to make some changes. It sucks, but you know that it's true. They only have your best intrest at heart. It's best to listen to them. Oh well. Life goes on and we continue to live it. We may not enjoy what we go through, but it's always worth it in the end. Just keep moving on. You'll make it through.

*SUPER LOUD SCREAMS OF EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!*

As you know, I keep a blog as often as possible. I haven't even really been on the computer at all this week besides this morning. It's all school computers that I have access to and they won't let me blog anymore. :/ Oh well. this week, we had an assignment in first period (keyboarding) and we were to type up a letter to our favorite band, team, group, etc. You say why you chose them, ask if you can get some kind of promotional item, mention that you're a fan, etc. Well, I chose the band All Time Low as the group that I would send a letter to, but I couldn't find an address for them. I sent them an e-mail to see if I could get it and turns out that they don't have a place to get fan mail (probably for a good reason lol), but there wasn't a name at the bottom of the e-mail, so it could have been anybody. My keyboarding teacher had me just send it to them as an attachment to an e-mail. This morning, I check my e-mail, and there's one new e-mail in the inbox. Guess who's name was at the bottom!!!!!!! The bottom line said "<3 alex!"!!!!!!!!!! I know that it still could have been anybody, but I'm too excited that it said that to care. Which brings us back to the super loud screams of excitement. That's like a sign that today is going to be amazing. :)


<3 Saved Individual

Lo siento, amigo

It translates into "I'm sorry friend." (yes, that is about all I've learned in the three spanish classes I've taken.) I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a LONG time, but I've been busy with school, track, and other activities. I'm driving myself insane. ;) I eneded last quarter with a 3.75 (weighted it's a 4.0), joined the track team, and found a few more extra things to do. I went to the cheer meeting to learn more about try-outs in April and decided to run for junior class president. I'm looking forward to the vacation bible school meeting this Friday night and the skating party the day after. It's spirit week at school so everybody is looking forward to the minimum day tomorrow and the ralley on Friday. This week's spirit theme is boys vs. girls. GIRLS WILL SOOOOO WIN!!!!!! :) JKJKJKJK Idk yet, but they got some teachers to perform their own dance after the fourth period dance class has their "dance off" at the ralley (which this "dance off" is one option for the final, my final for dance is teaching the class a dance in three days [such as a line dance or something] that adds up to a total of 100 points). If you have any ideas for the dance final or my campaign, let me know. :) It's greatly appreciated. I'm thinking I'll do a "blast from the past: returning to retro dance" theme for the final and a "It's a small school" theme for the campaign. My own twist on the "it's a small world" ride from Disney, to bring the Junior class together to do what's best for us. Let me know what you think and I really do need all the help I can get for this campaign. Thank you in advance. :) This just shows that ANYBODY can try something new. ;)

Society then and now

Yes, as the human race we have come a long way. We've gone from wearing bonnets and dresses that cover our feet, to "booty shorts" and "tank tops". We have more technology, resources, and knowledge now. A lot has changed just in the past thirty years. However, one thing remains the same. We all want to fit in. We want to please others. We're constantly being told who we should be and comparing ourselves to others. It isn't fair to anybody. Sometimes, we need to take a step back and look at how small the cross we have to carry really is. Instead of thinking, "I should do... to be perfect in the eyes of others." we should think, "I should do... to be a better person because I want to." It makes a world of difference. Society and the media will always work together to make people feel bad about themselves, but it's not a competition. You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. Yes, we all have flaws. Yes, we can accept those flaws and call it perfection. If you don't see it as a flaw, is it really a flaw? NO! It makes you human and it makes you who you are. Love the "flaws" and others will admire you for not caring what others think. If you're "living in the shadow" of somebody that you look up to, you won't be there for long. Just find what makes you who you are and that should be enough for anybody worth getting to know better. You won't always be where you are now. The Middle by Jimmy Eat World is the perfect song to describe what I'm saying. Don't care what others think, try anything and everything, don't buy into the "ideal look", people will always talk, things will get better. :)

Rules

Yes, rules are important and need to be followed to keep society going. However, there is a line. The school has a policy that says personal websites (such as this) are not to be used on school computers. It's rediculous if you ask me. I as a student, should have the right to blog during my frist period class if I have all of my work done. I'm a good student and try hard in everything I do. Should I be punished for my hard work? Personally, I don't think it's fair. Yes, there are rules that should not be altered for special cases. I just think that it's lame for such a positive influence in my life to be banned by the school. Don't worry if I don't post as often anymore. I'm just busy during the day and can't post during first anymore. Good night! :)

Influence

You know those dumb commercials about how pirating videos is wrong and drugs are bad. Is that really stopping anybody from doing it anyway? No. Let's be realistic about this. Peer pressure is huge in the lives of teens all over the world. We want to please everybody, but if we hang out with the wring people it's impossible. Some days we're hanging out with our true friends and we'll see the people we always wanted to fit in with. They don't notice you, don't say hello. It's like you're invisible. That feeling is never a fun one, but sometimes it's what you need to keep you going. Taylor Swift's song invisible says, "I just want to show you, she don't even know you, she's never gonna love you like I want to, and you just see right through me, but if you only knew me, we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelieveable, instead of just invisible." If you're a good person, everybody wants to be your friend. They just need to see the real you first. If you're too quiet, life passes you by and you never get the chance to be the person you always wanted to be. You don't meet the right people, you don't get anywhere in life. What I really learned though, is that everybody feels invisible sometimes.  It's not a good feeling, but even the popular kids feel it. To me, that's a sign saying "Everything is going to be ok in the end. This isn't going to make or break you. Just do this now and there will be something better waiting for you around the corner." I may not be the best at spanish, but I do know that when somebody says "Nosotrors necisitamos vivir la vida loca." It means "We need to live a crazy life." Let's live like that and have some fun. ;)

Just another day

Just another day in life. Nothing new to discuss, no huge realization. It's just another beautiful day. I was thinking this morning though, and I noticed how much trouble some girls go through just to get the attention of some boy. It's rediculous how much emphasis society puts on "beauty". Who says that just becuase you're not size zero with perfect skin, that you're not pretty? Who decides what pretty is? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you think that you're pretty, then you are. You don't need the approval of others. Yes, it's important to make a good impression on people, but at what cost? There are so many different diet pills, surgeries, etc. that make us think that there is something wrong with who we are as people. Hypothetically: if you get work done (let's say it's a nose) and you have a little girl that doesn't like her nose (the one you used to have). Do you tell her that her nose is perfect and she's beautiful the way she is? What if she finds out that you had your nose fixed? You can't be hypocritical with your children. It's sending them the wrong message. Children have to learn some things on their own and you can't always be there for them. That doesn't mean that you have to stay out of their lives. Children ask for a lot of stuff sometimes, but at the end of they day they know that you're doing everything you can to give them a good life. They don't need all the fancy stuff, if they know that you love them. Try telling them more often and explaining this to them next time they're asking for some new toy or crying because they don't get their way. It might help. ;)

True meanings

What is being fake? Is it not being yourself? Is it lying? Is it telling your daughter time and time again that you're going to be there for her and not showing up? Or is it just not loving your own kids? I'm done with him. How dare he say that I'm fake, when I'm always honest with him! I try to do what I can and be nice to him, but after so long of being lied to and disappointed you can only expect the worst from somebody. He may not have any authority in my life anymore, but he still plays a huge part. I've been told that this isn't true, but in my mind I hear, "He left us, he didn't want us, he doesn't love us." In my mind, every time he calls is like a little reminder. For days after that five minute phone call I think, "Why doesn't he love me? What happened to make him want to leave?" It may not be true in his mind or in reality, but that's what things like that do to a person. You question, you have doubts, you want to know what you could have done that would have made him want to stick around a little longer. He has put too things in the way of my happiness. Slowly, I've grown up because of him. I still have a long way to go though. If he can't love me enough to be in my life, then my mom can and I can love myself enough for both of us. It's funny. Not even a week ago I wanted to stop writing in my blog. Now, I can't stop writing and I like how getting stuff out in the open makes me feel. He can say whatever he wants to because it doesn't make or break me. "Love me or hate me, either way you're still thinking about me."-unknown

Back to the Future

This is a movie from 1985, where this teen accidentally goes back in time and keeps his parents from meeting. There is a lot of sentimental value to the movie and a lot of life lessons for teens to learn from it. However, if that was in 1985, where is the time machine now? We're in the year 2010 and technology has come a long way since our parents were kids. Just think about it. In the year 1938, child labor laws had just been passed for America. Students haven't always been as lucky as the students of today. Not long ago, kids didn't need cell phones, televisions, ipods, or computers. Everything was sentimental. Hand written notes, phone calls instead of texting, waiting to hear your favorite song on the radio or buying a record instead of downloading it onto your computer. What happened to the personal touch of life? Why can't we still be sincere in what we say and do, without losing the technology? We are humans and we do have flaws, but I believe that we could find a way to have both. Let's try turning off all electronics for an hour, just to see what happens. Instead of texting friends, try having a conversation with somebody in your house. It doesn't have to be some big discussion. Just a little bit of time to create memories, share memories, love the family that you've been given. I feel blessed to have such wonderful technology in my life and eveybody else should too. Not everybody has internet access at home, or a cell phone to text with. Some kids still have to use the house phone and do things that don't require technology. Answere me this: who is stronger when it comes to religion? Those who have everything that they could ever want, or those who are barely getting by? The correct answer is those just getting through this life. The people that seem to have it all really don't. They chase after material things because they have a God shaped hole in their heart and don't know how to fill it. Those that are trying to get through this economic downfall, they trust that the Lord will help them get through it unharmed and have filled the hole. Which will you chose today? Technology or family? Are you barely getting through or are you chasing material things? Think about this today and everyday. On Saturday I went to a church retreat for my ccd class and there was a lecture on gangs. We learned that you can do wrong now, but it's never too late to change. Let's be the people we want to be today, so that if tomorrow doesn't come we can say that we were true to what we believe and who we are. Good luck in whoever you choose to be and all that you do. You know what  the right thing to do for you is.

Time

Time always seems to go by so quickly. It seems like I just started high school and now it's almost half over. Where is all of this time going? It seems so far away now. I miss the memories, good and bad. I miss hanging out with friends and not having a care in the world. It feels like the ccd class just started and now I'm almost done with the first year. How does that work? I already picked my confirmation name. I've decided on Christiana. It means belinging to Christ and that HE will be my patron. If I get to decide on the baptism, I've decided that the best way for me, is the full emerson. I feel that I am ready to take on all of this responsability and love, so I should be able to do it the way that HE wants me to and the way that will move me the most. While we're always wanting time to go faster or slower, we need to appreciate it while we can. Make the most of life. It won't last forever. Nobody gets out of this life alive, so we may as well live like we're dying. Do the right thing while still having fun. You don't need anything to have fun except a positive attitude and people that care about you. Think about that next time you're reaching for something that you know isn't good for you. Just keep your faith and you'll do what's right for you. That's why we have our guardian angles. They watch over us. Let them guide you sometimes. They'll help you out of some sticky situations. There's a song and it has a great quote. It says, "Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands, cause I can't do this on my own, I'm letting go, so give me one more chance, to save me from this road I'm on, Jesus take the wheel." We can't do everything on our own. We need Jesus to take the wheel sometimes. Let go of what happened long ago. Forgive and forget. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Not only does He see the actions we do, but also the thoughts we have and what we feel in our hearts. Have a great day and keep this in mind as you try to follow the path closer to Him. :)

Long weekend

I usually don't write about weekends, but this weekend was... special. The term long varies in meaning. It can mean an extended weekend (three day weekends and such) or it can mean it just passed by slowly. In this case, it was just slow. Friday I had school and track practice. I was out really early and slept all through the night. Saturday, I got up at 7, was at church by 9, and didn't get home until a little after 4. I was back at church by 5 and didn't get home until about 6:15. My little sister had a friend spend the night and my friend came over a little later at about 8:30. We had fun for a while, but eventually everybody had to leave or go to sleep. My friend called to ask about our ccd class this morning, so I had to get up at about 7 even though class was cancled. Fell back asleep a few times, and was still tired. I went driving at noon and got yelled at for having fun with it. :/ Got home at 2 and saw the new Alice in Wonderland at 3. It wasn't the best movie, but it wasn't horrible either. Talked to my aunt for a while and we watched the new Hannah Montanna. It feels really late and I'm exhausted. Excited for the new week. Every day is a new day and we all have to keep moving forward. Try to be the best you that you can be. It's the best look for you. ;)

Life=music

While writing in my blog, I've learned that feelings need to be let out to the world more often. It can be done through poetry, stories, blogs, music, or just talking about it. Sometimes you can say more in a poem, song, etc. There's a song called "Break  Your Little Heart" by All Time Low. It really describes how I feel as a high school student with all of these lame boys hanging around me. It says: "I'm gonna break your little heart, watch you take the fall, laughing all the way to the hospital, cause there is nothing surgury can do when I break your little heart in two." For me, this says "I'm a heart breaker. You're going to fall for me, I'm warning you now. There isn't anything that I can do when you get hurt." Unfortunetly, I've been on both sides of this situation, but it makes you stronger sometimes. Another quote from All Time Low: "I'm over getting old. Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year and I'm so sick watching all the minutes pass as I go nowhere and this is my reaction to everything I fear cause I've been going crazy. I don't want to waste another minute here." Let's go wild! We're at the perfect point in our lives. Most of us can now drive, we're young, we're fun, we'll be wild while we can. After a while we won't be able to anymore. We'll have responsabilities and need to be role models for the younger generation. If we're wild now, we'll have the stories to tell them and explain why they shouldn't do the same thing. "We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs, and they'll think it's cause we're young and we'll feel so alive." Let's go live like we're dying and learn from our mistakes. We'll tell our kids one day and they'll understand why we don't want them to do the same. They'll know that they're loved and we only want what's best for them.

Half empty or half full?

So, it hasn't been my best week ever. :/ Lots of drama, lots of disappointment, and even more surprises. Life has a funny way of working itself out. The moments when I feel like breaking down and giving up, God gives me another reason to keep going. We all have our own cross to carry. Some of them are large and heavy. If you think that your life is horrible you should take a look at the person sitting next to you and think to yourself, "would I really want to change places with them?" Mother Teresa once said, "God wouldn't give me anything that I couldn't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much." We'll all make it through this life thinking about everything that happened and say, "Yeah, I had my ups and downs, but I wouldn't want it any other way." Before I sign off for the night I have something more important to say than keep living life to the fullest. I have a few apologies that I need to make and a few thank yous. To anybody that read this and told me it was great, thank you. Jaymes, thank you for being my first follower. :) Anybody that encouraged me to keep writing, thank you. If it hadn't been for all of you, I would have given up and deleted my blog. Anybody that was disappointed when I said I quit, I'm sorry. It was heat of the moment I guess. It means a lot to me that you all kept reading and wanting me to write more. Everybody that bought cookie dough for the track team or made a donation, thanks a million. Without that money we wouldn't have new equipment money for bus rides or invitationals, or our amazing coaches. The glass is always half full in life, you just need to learn to see it that way. Good night everybody! :)

Short and sweet

This phrase could mean anything when used in the right context. It can describe a person, it could describe an article, it can even describe an action done in the heat of the moment. Today it is describing me and the blog post of today. I'm giving blood in about thirty minutes, so I have to be fast. Just had a venti cafe mocha, so I'm ready to go and up for anything today. Just thinking about things to do in the future, you realize how slowly time goes. Some days we might not appreciate it, but one day we'll look back and want it to slow down even more. Life is short, life is beautiful, live like we're dying. Tomorrow isn't garunteed for anybody. Music seems really important today. We're all different in our music preferences. My personal favorites are things such as All Time Low, Taking Back Sunday, Brokencyde, Hyper Crush, The Brand New, and N.E.R.D. There are a lot more, but too many to name them all. Check out some of their songs. Sports play a big part in high school life. A lot of social events happen because of sports events. It's really lame that not all sports get the same funding. Why should cheerleaders and football players get more funding than the track team or softball? It's not fair to those athletes. All sports have the same work to do, they just do them in different ways. It's hard work and we should get the same amount of money. We should try to change it. Anyway, I'm now late for giving blood because of this and taking notes for keyboarding. Leave comments if you have any advice on how to change the funding. Thanks! Try to be a superstar today. Help heal the world. ;)

Addicted

So lent started back on Ash Wednesday (February 17). It made me think this year, that we all have one thing that we should change about ourselves. Lent is where those who believe in the Catholic faith give up something for approximately 40 days and we remember the 40 days Jesus spent in the desert before he was crucified. During this time we give up a vice or something important to us and try to become better people and follow the Lord. I realized today, that we're all addicted to something. Even if we don't know what it is or don't want to admit it, we are. It doesn't have to be something bad for you, illegal, or inappropriate. It just has to have a significant meaning in your life. I often feel like I'm addicted to multiple things. Some days it's drama, some days it's coffee, sometimes it's music, and some days it's just being me. :) Having an addiction doesn't mean you need to go to rehab or anything, it just means that you have a passion for something. Maybe if we all tried really hard, we could turn that passion into something beautiful. Instead of using it to fulfill our own selfish needs and wants, we could save the world. I may just be some optimistic teen, but I know that every little bit counts. When I work at VBS every summer, I see all of those young kids excited and ready to learn. I also see how few people take the time to help us out. Who's going to teach the kids about the bible if we don't? I read an article about this girl's life who was saved because everyday people donated blood. Where would she be if nobody had donated? What about all of the animals going extinct because they have no place to live? Global warming and our natural resources that are slowly disappearing? What are we going to do without them? Why don't we try something new? Instead of spending hours doing what's best for us, let's take an hour a week to do something good for the world. Let's create an A.R.K. (Act of Random Kindness) big enough to save the planet. We should listen to this years VBS theme "Step Up and Go Green for Jesus". We'll learn to do what He asks us to do and take care of all of His creations. One person can't save the world alone, but together we're unstoppable and we'll reach the ends of the universe. As children we were always told "If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll at least catch a star. If you shoot for the lowest star and miss, you'll fall." Let's shoot for the moon and beyond. We wouldn't want to fall and let the world down. The children of the future want to see penguins and monkeys. Let's not let tomorrow's children down. :)

Words

In this world, there are many different languages and many more words that we all use to communicate. What do the words really mean though? I remember reading a book titled "Frindle", which is about a fifth grade boy that makes up his own word (frindle) instead of using the word pen. Does it really matter what we call it as long as everybody involved knows what they're talking about? Even William Shakespeare had Juliet say "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Just because we change the word used, doesn't mean that the thing changes. At which point, why are curse words considered "bad"? They only have a bad meaning if you want them to. If people think that words can hurt you, they're wrong. Words can only make us stronger. Don't get in a fight, beat your opponent in a battle of wits. Lately, people in my life have shown me that words have no real meaning and you can't care about the ones that they use if you're going to be who you are and follow your dreams. If you're a friend to somebody, don't lie to them. Be honest with them and tell them how you feel using actions. Actions speak louder than words sometimes. You just need to know how to use both in the off chance that your first option fails. You should always know who you're dealing with to decide what way to go in resolving a situation. Good luck with the many situations that may come up in your life and hopefully this helped. :) If anybody has a problem that they want discussed her, feel free to leave a comment.

Adding insult to injury

This is a common saying that most people have used or heard. I feel that lately, insults and injuries have been common things in my house. Constant teasing doesn't exactly help when you're sore or hurt in some way. I realize that it's easy to hurt the feelings of people that wear their feelings on their sleeves, but to do it to family is crossing a line in my book. Yes, this sounds very hypocritical. No, I do not always practice what I preach. Unlike most people though, I can say that I'm trying my hardest to become a better person and looking forward to being a "saved individual". Ever find yourself wanting to go home? Ever feel that way when you're in your house? It's a hollow kind of feeling. It's sad to hear that people our age can feel so bad. We live in a society where there is much emphasis on outer beauty instead of inner beauty. Why should somebody be judged based on where they come from, or what they look like? Family is a group of people that you need and is decided before you are born. Friends are the family that you need that you pick. If they're true friends, they'll be there forever. Insults have less value if you don't let them bug you. Even if it does make you feel bad, don't show it. They only do it because it gets to you and they are insecure themselves. Here's a new challenge for you: be secure in who you are and try to be a better person. Yes, we've all made mistakes and yes, the Lord is willing to forgive you if you are truly sorry. Don't live with regrets, think of them as learning experiences. It wasn't a mistake, it was a fun time that you wouldn't do again. Good luck with the challenges. ;)

Heck no Techno!

I'm in a class through my church that teaches me about the bible and helps me prepare for the sacraments. Well, a few weeks ago my teacher gave a lecture on technology. He told us about how the Internet is a dangerous place and now inappropriate things come find us, rather than people going out to look for them. Yes, a lot of people are perverted and try to do stupid things to innocent young people. No, I am not one of them. I don't think that there should be a generalization. Just because some people are child molesters, doesn't mean that anybody that's a little friendly via technology without meeting in person first is. Yes, people should be careful about who they talk to and not be super trusting with the odd people that are totally random. Is it really a bad thing to have somebody there for you that you can talk to about anything without being judged though? It could really help some people. It's a major confidence booster if you do it the right way with the right people. Why not let some random person read your thoughts? Nobody ever said that you have to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Just give the people that seem somewhat normal a chance. From my own experiences, I've learned that keeping emotions hidden inside is a bad thing that really hurts you in the long run. Vent in a blog like this one. Share your thoughts and ideas with the world. It took a lot of courage to share my VBS GOES GREEN theme idea with my soon to be godmother and I talk to her about a lot. Sharing ideas isn't easy, but letting them be heard is better for everybody. So in a nutshell: 1.) don't be a creeper online, 2.) share thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc., 3.) church is a great place to be especially in hard times, and 4.) don't be judgemental. Today's challenge: make an online friend (that isn't a creeper) and trust them just with a thought, feeling, idea, or anything. If it seems to work, great. If not, better luck next time.

Friends

What makes a "true friend"? Is it somebody that you can share secrets with, somebody that you have an instantly unbreakable connection with, or just somebody that you can depend on? Why should somebody want to be friends with anybody? My mom always told me to be my own best friend. ;) I remember when I was my own best friend. That didn't go so well lol. Looking back on the hardest times in life, we see how much we've grown and changed since then. We can remember what we learned from the experiences. It's funny how day after day nothing changes, but looking back nothing is the same. This time last year, I was a quiet girl that didn't want anything to do with anybody out of fear. I didn't even really enjoy going to church. Now I'm working on a baptism class, living life to the fullest, letting things happen how they were ment to, and loving the people that gave me a chance and earned my friendship. How have you changed in just the past year? In the past five? Over the course of your life? Some people, don't have the true friends and the love that we want or deserve. We should try to fix that in all ways possible. You know the guy/girl that looks unhappy in the back of the class? They don't have that. I'm not saying that we need to fix the world or help the nerds be cool, I'm just saying that if I were the one that was upset (and I have been that person) I would want somebody to come talk to me. Not somebody that wants to know what's wrong, just somebody to be a friend. If the upset person wants to talk about it, they will. They just need the opportunity to tell A TRUE FRIEND. Let's all try to be that person today. Btw, true friends don't get walked all over and they don't walk all over other people. Have fun and good luck!

Heroes

When most people think about super heroes or super powers, they think invisibility, flying, mind reading, super speed, super strength, etc. Does that really make somebody a hero though? In all honesty, no it does not. The real heroes are the people that risk their lives everyday, the people that dare to push the envelope with their ideas, the people that express themselves everyday without worrying what others will think. Let's all try to be heroes today. If your shy and quiet, a blog like this is a good place to start (as long as you share it with family and friends that care). If you're a more open and daring person, go help a quiet person find their voice. Why shouldn't everybody have the ability to be a hero or just the ability to speak in front of a few people?

Life's little moments

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough." That was said in the movie The Notebook. One person is nothing special. It's what they do and who they are that make them special. We are all common people that live common lives (yes, even the famous people). It's loving without fear, doing what you can to protect that love, and living in the moment. Don't label your love and don't work at it. It should come naturally. Life is full of little moments that people often take for granted. Appreciate them. They won't always be there. Laugh and smile as much as possible. Live without regrets. Be who you want to be. When you're having a hard day, remember "The lord always listens," and "and when it's right, you're lost in the moment." Enjoy your friends, your life, your family, and everything else while you can. It may not be there forever. Enjoy and come read some more if you have time. ;)

Mothers of the world

How is it that mothers know EVERYTHING? I find it interesting. They know you better than they know themselves sometimes. It's amazing how you can do something wrong, and they know it before you do sometimes. For me, I've learned not to hide anything from any of my parents. They always know when something is going on that they should know about. Today's challenge: talk to your mother. It may be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Even if they're not your biological mother, you'll feel better after you do. Just pick a mother like figure in your life, somebody that you know, trust, and care about. Tell them something that you don't think they know about and have a conversation. :) Tomorrow: thinking about writing about school or friends. Come back soon to find out. ;)

Questions as old as time itself

Life is full of imaginary lines. Special boundaries that we instinctively know not to cross. As humans, we know what is and is not acceptable in social situations. What about in our own private lives though? Where is the line there? Obviously the lines are still there, but they've moved. Why are there prejudice people? What is the meaning of life anyway? These are all good questions that we may never have an answer for. Today's challenge: go out and make a new friend. Don't judge them until after you get to know them as a person. Somebody that you wouldn't normally be friends with. Start something new and if you've been following a broken road, pick a new one or start your own. Maybe you could make a friend at church. I know I did. ;) Please remember to come back for more and feel free to suggest topics for blog entries. :)

Edward Everett Hale

I just read a quote that really inspired me. It was by Edward Everett Hale and he said "Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; lend a hand". It may only be 9 a.m., but it really brightened my day. It spoke to me and said "stop being sad, keep moving forward, and go do what you love to do". We as people shouldn't let others or circumstances determine how we live our lives. Be who YOU want to be, not what others want to see. I know it sounds lame, but it's true. Anybody that wants you to change isn't really your friend, unless they're just trying to be helpful for your sake. I know, I have scrub friends. It's hard to see them dress and act like that, but I don't make them change. I just suggest. We should all go be wild. Dance and sing like nobody is around. Life is too short to live with regrets, so live every day like it's going to be your last. :) Have a nice day and come back soon for more.